Whenever I go to San Francisco, I stop at the same little airport shop to pick up something for the kids on my way home. I try to get something different each time I go. This time, I was all set to buy a 3-dollar bag of salt-water taffies, each wrapped in its own translucent white paper (I love the paper! I love it way better than I love the taffies!), when the woman behind me in line started talking up the See's Candy Lollipops. They were about 15 dollars, but they did look good! The check-out clerk agreed—they were good! Another person in the line thought they were good too! So I thought, heck, I can part with the extra 12 dollars for something as good as that. I bought them.And they are so good! Cafe cream, chocolate, vanilla, and caramel. (I think the marketing team was completely out of ideas after naming the coffee one.) I totally recommend them. Keep an eye out next time you're there.
I always, always, crunch hard candy. I can't not crunch it. I'm in a rush, you see. My mother has spoken to me about this many times over the years (quite recently, too), but I never really thought that anything bad would actually happen to my teeth.
(Can you guess what's about to happen?)
So, the other day, I was crunching away on a vanilla one, when I thought, "HEY! There are little ROCKS in this lolly!!!!!" Scenes of legal action started running through my head. Not that I am really the litigating type, but I could be! I COULD BE! What if this isn't rocks? What if it is mouse bones or something?
It wasn't rocks. You know what it was: my molar. Upper right. In bits. Pretty much destroyed. Sad, hey? It didn't really hurt though, and—good news—it got me to the dentist. There was a lot of drilling but it was nothing like what James Frey went through (or did he? Or. Did. He?) in A Million Little Pieces.
I have a temporary crown on that molar at present. I go back next week for the porcelain one. I haven't had a lolly since this happened, but I will. And I will be patient with it.
This is the second in the Challenge category. See what Mark and Zoot have come up with.
Maybe See's and your dentist should go into business together.
ReplyDeletezoot - owen thinks this one sounds like you - what do you think?
ReplyDeleteI thought you'd break a tooth opening tin cans with your teeth,or ripping off labels:not merely crunching hard candy.
ReplyDeleteNice job.
Yes... it has that this-is-my-life narrative of which I am so fond.
ReplyDeleteInfact I broke a tooth on a date muffin once... It was no fun at all, not even in retrospect.
ReplyDeleteI've done this too (I can't even remember what I was eating). It wasn't all that terrible, really.
ReplyDeleteWhat I love is thinking about you standing there gazing off into the distance abset mindedly chewing shards of your own tooth.
ReplyDelete