Well, I was saving this for Zoot's birthday. But that's too long to wait. Here you are then, Zoot; you were not the first Zoot I knew. This is a gem of an excerpt from Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975). With love, Dingo.
DINGO: No, I am Zoot's identical twin sister, Dingo.
GALAHAD: Oh, well, excuse me, I--
DINGO: Where are you going?
GALAHAD: I seek the Grail! I have seen it, here in this castle!
DINGO: No! Oh, no! Bad, bad Zoot!
GALAHAD: What is it?
DINGO: Oh, wicked, bad, naughty Zoot! She has been setting a light to our beacon, which, I just remembered, is grail-shaped. It's not the first time we've had this problem.
GALAHAD: It's not the real Grail?
DINGO: Oh, wicked, bad, naughty, evil Zoot! Oh, she is a naughty person, and she must pay the penalty -- and here in Castle Anthrax, we have but one punishment for setting alight the grail-shaped beacon. You must tie her down on a bed and spank her!
GIRLS: A spanking! A spanking!
DINGO: You must spank her well. And after you have spanked her, you may deal with her as you like. And then, spank me.